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ive been finding it pretty disturbing just how toxic people on social media are and a reminder of why i want to spend less & less time on sites like twitter. nowhere is safe from toxic group behaviour even among niche hobbies. i first escaped to the internet as a kid to get away from bullying and the crowd/group-think/ hyena pack behaviour of mass culture & normal people etc. so to see that same sort of bullying behaviour and shaming being carried out online within niche spaces and people taking part in the same hyena pack behaviour is honestly really sad. the fact that the same sort of irl bullies now tend to be the popular personalities in online spaces is a shame but i guess just an inevitable part of internet being mainstream. i wont go into specifics but a recent example thats doing the rounds on twitter is a 'controversial' aspect of a particular music genre (not one im involved in) and while theres nothing wrong with debating and arguing about the controversial topic & expressing opinions and discomfort about stuff, most of it is seeming to focus around 'these people are a bunch of weirdos' as if thats a valid argument. i guess i find it sad that being a 'weirdo' or socially reclusive or bsaically deviating from social norms is now a valid thing to mock people for even online. and not only that but even in online niche spaces. like you have popular creators in niche hobbies that make 'weird' art being attacked and mocked and insulted for being 'weird'? which just reinforces the fact that these spaces are full of posers and clout-chasers and whatnot. so much of people consuming and producing art & content to do with mental illness or depression are completely fake and i find that gross. like im sorry but if you want to consume your mental illness fetish art then shock & horror the creators of some of that stuff you love are gonna be mentally ill themselves? like oh wow i cant believe this artist i like who goes on psychotic rants and draws art with references to suicide and abuse is actually mentally ill and really weird and messed up??? what the hell i want my mentall illness fetish artists to be normal well adjusted people who go to parties and watch netflix how dare they be deviant trash freaks! maaaan i am so messed up lol im so schizo i love these drawings of emo girls in dirty apartments self harming oh wait that artist did what? theyre into that kinda thing ewwww they sound really weird what the hell that is soo inappropriate. honestly im ranting but im getting really annoyed at people atm. i guess what i want to say is, if you enjoy consuming 'weird' & 'messed up' art be prepared for the artists to be 'weird & messed up'. and if youre not into that kinda thing then leave people alone.

something similar i remember seeing a while back was when that indie gamedev was the popular topic for mockery on the internet last year or whenever. the guy whose making the game about yandere girls or something. i dont know i know very little about the guy and the game and i dont care at all but there were lots of memes being shared on social media at the time. he was being mocked to hell & back and from what i could tell people at least had reasons to dislike him ie he had taken a lot of money from people & hadnt delivered & was a bad programmer and generally acted rude to people & maybe there were more reasons & it was all deseverd, i dont know. but i remember seeing a lot of it focusing on how much of a loser he was & was clearly struggling with stuff. like people were mocking him for being hiki and not leaving the house and not achieving anything and stuff like that and it left a bad taste in my mouth since it was basically just bullying at that point. like sure express your disastifaction at the crummy game or how hes done some bad stuff or bad behaviour or whatever but it had basically just devolved into personal attacks about how much of a weird loser he was. a guy who was making a 'yandere' game. being bullied by people who wanted to play a 'yandere' game. i dunno as i said i know very little about the guy & i dont really care but i just think that kind of group bullying & personal attacks is just really nasty behaviour regardless of the reasons. often in these sorts of situations you get people chiming up to say "oh but this guy is a realyl nasty piece of work and did this and that!" and its like honestly i dont care that still doesnt excuse your behaviour. someone has done some bad stuff so you think its fair game to jump onto the bandwagon of bullying & abuse? and what happens if it turns out youre wrong? nothing, you will quietly move onto the next victim & it continues and continues

i think there was something similar last year where a musician was attacked for shady stuff in their past. and no, im not talking about that one really popular internet musician who got attacked for questionable stuff in their past. although i think what happened to them was also really nasty and was basically just hyena pack bullying but thats not the musician im talking about. this was a smaller artist although they still had a decently large following within their scene/ niche. i knew nothing about them before the 'controvery' but suddenly there were lots of people calling them out & slinging insults and large groups of people taking part in it on twitter & stuff. but i did think it was nice that a bunch of their friends including some big names within the scene stood by them and defended them. again i know nothing about them but it was nice to see them being looked out for. i guess i just really really hate bullying of any shape & form and especially when its droney group mob hate directed at people online & it devolves into schoolyard bullying. when i saw artists i like stick up for their friend i thought that was a really good thing and i feel like its those sorts of situations where you find out who the good & real and genuine people are. if someone stands up for their friend against an online bully mob then they are most likely a wonderful person.

i guess i just find the whole position of 'outsider art' in internet and popular culture at the moment really strange. on the one hand outsider art of various shapes and forms is probably more popular then its ever been. but on the otherhand i feel like online spaces are becoming more and more homogenised by 'normal' people culture and hive mentality. its a weird contrast. i escaped to the internet because i couldnt exist around normal people. i would be bullied and abused mercilessly and their interests & culture & art meant nothing to me. and that was the case for many other people who could instead create a sense of community online with like-minded people and create and share art & culture that appealed and meant something to them, free from the real life bullies and hyenas. (i also feel like an alien in these sorts of spaces too but i wont get into that just now). and now of course that the internet is no longer 'nerdspace' and is just an extension of real life full of everyone those sort of spaces dont exist anymore. and those sorts of communities struggle to survive. and i dont think its a question of just withdrawing to smaller spaces on the internet or whatever. the weird space & time that the technology of the internet existed in was totally unique & allowed that kind of thing to flourish but i dont think it can ever be replacated unless a new niche technology is invented that changes things but i think thats unlikely at this point because the world is too psychically connected now anyway. vr might have briefly been something similar but i never tried it so i dont know. i think finding communities in mmos or something is the best youre going to get at this point but i dont know. it might be that to have a online community like that, the central thing that holds people together and people engage in is completely unappealing & confusing or boring to normal people, like a really niche mmo or something like second life maybe. i havent tried second life in years but it seems there might be interesting communities there maybe. but anyway to stay on point it basically seems to me that the appetite for outsider art is growing & growing while the tolerance for the types of people who make outside art is getting smaller and smaller. and the spaces where those sorts of people can exist free from abuse and bullying are almost non existant.

id like to say: "if you bully and chase away & destroy all of the deviant, weird, loser people who make the unique art & music that you like to consume, what are you gonna be left with? artschool youtube tutorial producers and spotifty industry plants soullessly replicating trends from a few years ago?". but sadly i know that isnt true. truuly unique artists will continue to make art regardless because creating is something they cant stop themselves from doing. and because of how connected the internet is the hyenas will be there to consume it while laughing & mocking them anyway, while the soulless greydemons will churn out their saliva-molded replicas. and this will keep on going on. and they know it. they know creative types will always continue to create regardless of opression and mockery and therefore they can continue to exploit them.

i guess i just want to say: if you are a creative type or think of yourself or find yourself to be at all 'outside the norm' or out of place or whatever, then please please please dont take part in this horrible hyena pack culture of bullying & mocking others on the internet. even if you think 'this one deserves it' or 'this one is a scumbag'. it helps nobody & is just toxic and just perpetuates the disgusting hivey greyworld behaviour of schoolyard bullies and the boring cultureless parkinglot tyrants that think they rule the irl world and just pollutes the internet with more of their bs. rant over i guess

originally i wanted to talk more about my personal isolation in online communities & people and why i struggle to really connect or relate to people in any of these but i will post about that another time i guess

i dont know if this ranting really suits me but whatever~